


in a world uncertain (say you'll be my stone)

by adashofblue



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 19:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12153387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adashofblue/pseuds/adashofblue
Summary: or: the three times Jonghyun feels safe.





	in a world uncertain (say you'll be my stone)

**Author's Note:**

> title & lyrics taken from Alessia Cara's Stone

_but time comes to rest when you are by my side,  
it blurs._

Jonghyun remembers the midnight blue painted in the sky. He remembers the smell of musk that lingered in the navy blue sheets—mixed with the peachy aftershave that he likes so much. 

It was quiet despite the storm drifting in. His lover was standing behind the white curtain in his room, studying the stars—the curtain lining up his silhouette. In that delicate moment Jonghyun sat on the bed, watching his lover wiping out the rivers on his face. 

Jonghyun walked, walked, walked, until his nose landed on his lover’s back. He’s tired, so so worn out by everything that happened in the last 24 hours—but he’s safe, he’s okay, his Minhyun’s here. His lover turned back, a broken smile painted on his handsome face.

So he looked up, up, up, until his forehead landed on the shoulder that he leaned on for so many years. They were not really touching, really—there’s the curtain, but it’s enough, his warmth is enough for Jonghyun. 

“Will you stay with me?” Minhyun asked, voice filled with trepidation.  
Jonghyun’s heart was thundering in his chest.  
“Always,” he said, in the gentlest voice, love brimming in its every syllable. 

That night in June was filled with noisy heartbeats and lingering questions of _what ifs_. 

In a world uncertain, Jonghyun wonders if love is supposed to be translated to safety. Because in Minhyun’s arms, he’s finally safe.

-

_oh nothing's sure, but surely as we stand  
I promise I will stay the same_

When Jonghyun got the call from Seongwoo, he was not surprised at all—he’d already imagined this in his 2 AM thoughts.  
“Jisung-hyung didn’t want to tell you because we knew you’re busy, but he… asked for you. And um, well… I think I need to go home too,” his good friend sounded so tired.  
“Thank you, Seongwoo,” Jonghyun didn’t realize he held his breath for too long.

The fancy VIP class furniture does not overpower the dull atmosphere of the hospital room. Jonghyun sighs as he watches the rises and falls of his lover’s chest. Minhyun is rarely sick, but he overworks himself sometimes. 

“You left your poetry book in your room, I thought you’d want to read it when you’re bored… so I bring it here. And uh, Arong-hyung cooked you some soup, he said he’s sorry he borrowed some of your nicest clothes,” he chuckles a bit, and a single teardrop falls along.  
“Ah…” he sighs, “I’m not supposed to be crying, right?”  
Jonghyun looks down, down, down, his black cap blocking his face.  
“Yeah, you shouldn’t,” a weak voice greets his ears. Long fingers meet his shorter ones, covering it with warmth that Jonghyun can only associate with Hwang Minhyun.

“You’re supposed to nag people around when they’re sick, not being nagged,” Jonghyun mutters quietly.  
His lover chuckles. “I’m weak without you around me, Jju-yah,”

The light that comes from the curtains falls perfectly on Minhyun’s hollow cheeks, and Jonghyun bitterly smiles.  
“I miss your cheesy lines. I thought you’d stop being cheesy when I’m not around, but apparently not, huh?”  
The thumb that circles his hand stops.  
“I guess that’s one thing that won’t change about me, Jonghyun-ah,” Minhyun looks the most fragile when he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve, when his love is shown unhindered. The weight of his words is unspoken but Jonghyun understands—he’s his Minhyun anyways.

“Can you please read me something?”  
The sound of the IV line drips accompanies his lover’s voice, beautiful phrases and sentimental words spilling from his mouth. Jonghyun smiles.

Nothing’s sure for them right now—but this, this love, will always stay the same.

-

_while my world’s unraveling,  
say you’ll never change_

The screams are overwhelming to the point it almost becomes deafening. Jonghyun swears he can hear some fans crying when they stand for the final pose. They finally can see the ocean of cranberry pink and ebony clay—their subunit’s colors.

Minki falls quiet when the MC slowly announces the nominees for the winner. The scores are announced like a blur, and when Dongho chokes, Jonghyun finally realizes that the trophy’s shoved into his arms. Aron cries quietly and Minki doesn’t even have the strength to hold the microphone.

The MCs kindly wait for them to recover, smiling nervously, waiting for Jonghyun to say something.

His lips tremble too much and Jonghyun can’t even see properly because of the tears—but he tries his best. “Thank you, we are so honored to get this trophy. Thank you for everything. Thank you for our LOVEs who… stayed with us through everything. Thank you so much,”

The fans in front of the stage can see him cry, choking up from tears. Aron holds his shoulders, whispering jumbled, messy comforting words.

Dongho mentions their family, their staffs, their managers, their company, Minki mentions their friends, Seventeen, Pristin, and their lovely JBJ dongsaengs—he immediately hears Hyunbin’s happy laugh behind him—and Aron adds a short English thank yous.

He grabs the microphone from his oldest member’s hand when he’s done, hand shivering. Aron smiles reassuringly.  
“And to our W, our Hwang Minhyun who’s currently active as Wanna One’s member, thank you.”

The encore is filled with their muffled cries and cracked high notes. This time LOVEs sing for them instead, accompanying the instrumental with earnest screams. “Don’t cry! Don’t cry! Don’t cry!”

When the last note is heard, their tears meet the ground as they do a final full bow.

 

Their managers and long-time head stylist-noona cry with them in the waiting room, whispering muffled ‘good job, boys,’ repeatedly. Jonghyun’s hyperaware of the cameras that follow them to the waiting room, but it’s Mnet—what else can he expect?

Aron hugs Minki and Dongho like a good big brother he is. Jonghyun finally cracks a smile. Aron looks at him, pleased and relaxed. _You can cry too, you know,_ he mouths. Jonghyun never felt more thankful.

When everyone sleeps in the van, Jonghyun holds his phone like a lifeline. His manager whispers his whereabouts slowly, as if telling him that it’s impossible for him to congratulate them right away. His manager understands, of course. Despite only being hired after Produce 101 ends, his manager is the only one that understands—those random U-turns when he’s on his way home from solo schedules, those various packages he sent to Wanna One’s dorm, those sentimental letters, all for one person.

Little does Jonghyun know, after his phone dies few minutes later, a single message is being sent to his phone.

_Congratulations, Jju-yah. Please don’t cry too much, I miss you_

-

The dorm is quiet when Jonghyun rouses from sleep. It’s three AM, and he strongly believes his brothers are too drunk to even open their eyes. Footsteps are heard and the steps sound too familiar, Jonghyun wonders if he’s drunkenly imagining things.

“Oh, you’re awake,”  
Jonghyun rolls his body slowly, enlarging the space on the bed beside him. He’s drunk, he concludes, when the room also rolls around in his head. A melodious laugh breaks the silence. Jonghyun feels warmth when a pair of hands meets his, engulfing him in a familiar hug.

His lover smells strange today, but not unwelcomed. Some mix of sandalwood and fresh citrus.  
“And drunk, too,” his mahogany-haired soul mate laughs again.  
“Yu smel weeeird,” Jonghyun slurs, and his lover chuckles.  
“I just did a parfume ad shooting, you don’t like the smell, do you?” 

Minhyun’s question is left unanswered as the person he misses the most curls around his torso, his small hand grasping his back.  
Minhyun admires Jonghyun’s dopey smile like this. He never drinks much whenever all five of them go out, so he’s used to this—hugging and taking care of drunk Jonghyun until he’s asleep.

He loves stars, especially the ones trapped in Jonghyun’s eyes. These days he can only watches them dance inside still pictures, but that’s okay with him. As long as he’s happy, as long as he’s laughing, as long as he can still see the crinkles around his eyes when he smiles.

“Don’t change yur perfume,” his lover whines suddenly, stubbornly closing his eyes as if he’s seeing something disgusting.

It’s slurred beside his ear and Minhyun finally smiles. “I won’t change anything as long your love doesn’t change, Jonghyun-ah,”

That night, stars are finally aligned for them.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any mistakes, this is (obviously) un-betaed and made when I tried to procrastinate studying lol... (and that gif of Minhyun calling Jonghyun Jju-yah is definitely the trigger for this angsty mess)
> 
> come talk to me [@adashofblue](https://twitter.com/adashofblue/)


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